What If
by Temparance23
Summary: What if Harry and Hermione loved each other but never told each other? What if one day they did? Post Deathly Hallows Epilog.
1. Chapter 1

Harry apparated to the place they always met, every Sunday afternoon. At first, it was just he; it was his attempt to have solitude, to get away from it all. His guessing Hermione had the same idea because a few weeks later they met under the tree where she suggested that they stay there and grow old, so many years ago. This was supposed to be a normal day, where they met, they chat, and they enjoy each other's company, sometimes in silence, before they returned home. Only this time is different because Harry asked a question, he knew he shouldn't.

They were sitting across from each other like they always do. Hermione was busy reading Luna's latest Quibbler while Harry was reading an article in the Daily Prophet about of like minds versus opposite attractions. It was this article that prompted Harry to look up from his paper and ask.

"Hermione? Think we will still be here if we have gotten together instead?" Harry asked innocently.

"What do you mean gotten together?" Hermione asked cautiously as she gradually takes her eyes off her reading material to look at him.

"You know. If you and I were… instead of… you know what never mind, Silly question. It doesn't matter now anyway." Harry trying to put a lid on the conversation before it gets out of hand.

"If we what Harry? If we were married?" Hermione pressed on.

"Well… yes."

"Why would you ask that?" Hermione's voice suddenly increasing in tone.

Harry thought what's the harm? Only he would be embarrassed, so he replied.

"I don't know. There's this article about-"

"No." Hermione quickly added, cutting him off. "I mean it's not like it's even a possibility… you and me… it's not like you ever had feelings for me" she started laughing to herself about how ridiculous it sounds.

"But I did." Harry replied feeling a little hurt. Hermione's face froze. It took them sometime before either of them said anything. Hermione broke the silence first.

"What do you mean you did?"

"I thought you knew. I thought you new that I loved you but you loved Ron."

"How was I supposed to know that? You never said anything!" Hermione asked incredulously.

"I just thought you knew." Harry said quietly. He couldn't figure out why she was acting so weird, like this new information affects her. Unless it did.

"Why? Would it have changed anything?" Harry asked.

Hermione quickly dipped her head back into her magazine avoiding eye contact. "You're right, it doesn't matter."

"Hermione! I want to know. Would it have changed anything?" Harry wasn't going to let this go. He wanted to know, nay, he needed to know. He left his comfortable perch to snatch the magazine from her hands so that she could not hide behind it.

"Harry! Give that back" Hermione followed his movements trying to get the magazine back. She sounded annoyed but he heard the unsteadiness of her words, recognizing her fear.

"No! Not unless you answer me."

"This is very immature of you."

"So is refusing to answer. I want to know Hermione. Would it have made a difference?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" She screamed at him. Tears formed behind her eyes, betraying to fall. Hermione slumped back down to the ground, defeated. "Maybe…probably…yes."

Harry couldn't believe it, stunned to the point that he just stood over her. He didn't want to move, just incase he did and she would take it back. The confession had come with a price however and it affected her as much as it did him, for this was not happy news, they reveled it too late. Harry took the space beside Hermione and held her as she sobbed.

"When?" Harry asked her softly when she stopped crying. He was asking when she realized that she was in love with him too.

"Too late." She replied looking far into the distance.

They decide not to see each other for a while after that day. Harry felt horrible for days. He became unapproachable and distant especially to Ron, which was difficult since they worked together. Things at home weren't any better either. It was just the two of them at home as the children were at Hogwarts. Ginny could see his shift in mood and she has been trying to get him to open up to her, but how can he tell her that the woman he has loved for so long, thinking that she didn't love him back, had just told him she does. How was his supposed to tell her that he was in love and always has been in love with someone else? He couldn't, so he suffered in silence.

It was the middle of the day, one and half weeks after the incident. Harry was at the ministry of magic filling out documents and reports of his latest adventure, when he started to feel the collar around his neck begin to slowly but surely tighten. So every once in awhile he would scan the room incase someone was playing a trick on him while he kept tugging at his collar to loosen it. He was near the end of the documentation when Ron walked into the room.

"Harry. There you are. It is bloody hard to find you these days mate." Ron declared.

"Been busy you know how it is." Harry avoided eye contact with Ron and quickening his pace on his documentation before handing it over to be filed.

"Right. I really need your advice Harry. It's about Hermione…" Ron started.

Harry heard his sentence until he mentions her name and everything else fell on deaf ears. He suddenly felt like he couldn't breath, he was gasping for air. Ron started shaking him asking if he is all right.

"I can't… I can't…" Harry started before he stopped himself. He couldn't tell Ron he can't breath then Ron will insist on accompanying him to get treatment. He needed to get away from him.

"You can't what Harry?" Ron was starting to panic.

Harry held his breath to calm himself down. "I'm sorry Ron, I'm not feeling well. I need to go home." Before Ron could reply Harry dashed out of the room and ran. He didn't know where he was going but eventually he found himself back at the place he wasn't suppose to go, only to find the person he was not suppose to see.

"Harry!" Hermione said startled then concerned "Are you alright? You look awful."

"I feel awful." Harry answered panting. He took a moment to inhale deeply, only to find that he could breathe again.

**Author's Note: There is a Part 2. Thanks for reading**.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't just Harry that had a terrible week and a half, Hermione had too. When she returned home after having that impossible conversation with Harry, she had tried to pretend that it did not happen and for a few days it worked. Suppression and deniability were her two new best friends, but as time moved on it seemed that they would fail her too. Her thoughts always went back to him, it didn't help that his presence were everywhere in her home, she kept trying to avoid them. From photographs to gifts even in her wedding picture to Ron. Ron, that was the worst part of this all. She loved him, loved him first, loves him because he is still the only person in the world that could make her laugh and cry at the same time. They are so unalike, she always thought that they complemented each other, where she is strong and he is weak, they would come together to help each, change each other for the better and vice versa. Through the many years together, it turns out that people can't change who they are. Where she is strong, she will always be strong, where he is weak, he will always be weak and vice versa.

Hermione knew the exact moment when her new best friends stopped working. It was rather obvious really, all her conversation seem to have Harry in it. She wasn't consciously doing it; in fact she was consciously trying not to do it. Ron didn't realize anything was a miss because he too likes to talk about Harry and their work together. When she consciously tries not to talk about Harry and changes the subject, she inadvertently calls Ron, Harry. Of course Ron picked it up, as it happens too often to ignore, when he asked about it, she deflected saying "Must be the stress at work, I do it at work sometimes too, getting names mixed up." Ron shrugged and told her to take it easy. Just to make sure her story sticks; Hermione spent he next few days "Accidently" calling Ron, Neville or Bill or some other mans names so that when she did actually accidently call him Harry, which she still does, he won't be suspicious. God It's exhausting but this did not make her feel any less guilt or sorrow.

A week and half later, when Hermione couldn't stomach it anymore, she found herself back where it all started. Now joined by Harry, they just sat at their usual spot, backs against trees, staring at each other no one wanted to speak first.

"How did your week go?" Harry awkwardly asked first.

"I talk about you a lot or say your name a lot without meaning too. You?" Hermione answered honestly.

"Owh. I don't talk much at all, I'm afraid of what I might say."

"Harry I love you… I'm in love with you." Hermione's saliva suddenly felt like glue in her mouth but she continued "but it doesn't change anything does it? We are with people whom we care so much about, families that is impossible to break apart-"

"I would never ask you to that!" Harry cut her off. "I can't even fathom it myself. I can't help the way I feel… the way _we_ feel about each other. We don't choose who fall in love with, even if the timing is never right. But what can we do about it? We can't go back and I don't know how to move forward Hermione"

"Then we erase it." Hermione said simply as her eyes suddenly felt so heavy. "We erase that day, that conversation and we live like we always have and _hope_ that in our next life we are a little braver to tell each other how we feel before it's too late."

It wasn't the same as it was for Harry; Harry had loved Hermione since school. Hermione didn't realize she was in love with him until her wedding day. It hit her the day before her wedding day, when Harry asked Ginny to marry him. When she heard the news, she wanted to be happy for them, she tried to be happy for them but for the life of her, she couldn't understand why she wasn't happy for them. When she was getting all dolled up for her nuptials, she did express her feelings to her mother in private.

Her mother replied, "Well darling, it is not unnatural that you may feel that way, after all you both have been through together, some sort of attachment would have formed. The important thing is that you are about to marry the man you are in love with."

Hermione looked at her mother unconvinced, so her mother asked her to clear her mind before asking,

"My dearest Hermione, don't think, just answer. Who do you love most?"

Harry, Hermione thought but said "Ron". She thought it, but couldn't say it because she couldn't hurt Ron or Ginny or the Weasleys and above all she couldn't loose her friendship with either of them.

"There you go dear." Her mother said and that was that, the rest is history.

Now Harry and Hermione are trying to get this history back, without ever revealing their deepest desire and longing for one another.

_Obliviate_

Harry woke up lying against a tree unsure of where he was or how he got there. As he took in his surroundings and saw Hermione stirring across from him, the where there were, is answered but the why was unclear. The last thing he remembers is Saturday dinner with Ginny. They went into London to try this new restaurant.

"Hermione? Are you alright?" Harry reached out to her to take her hand as they both stood up together.

"Fine." Hermione replied, "except my eyes feel like I heavy, like I have been crying."

"It looks that way too." Harry pointed out. "Do you remember how we got here?"

"What? Isn't it Sunday?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why are you wearing you work clothes?" Hermione asked suspiciously.

Harry looked down noticing for the first time and looked back at Hermione "I have no idea. So are you by the way. What's going on?"

"Hang on. There is a parchment by your foot." Harry said as he pointed at parchment.

Hermione reached down and plucked it from the grass. It reads:

_Dear Harry and Hermione,_

_It has been one and half weeks since your last memory. We have erased it for good reason. No one beside ourselves knows why and we advise you both to not go looking for it._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Harry and Hermione_

"We wrote a letter to ourselves" Hermione added after she finished reading out loud.

"Do you believe it?" Harry asked her.

"I suppose, it is in my handwriting. After all stranger things _have_ happened."

"It's getting late, I don't want to worry Ginny." Harry said as he glanced at the sky. "Although, I don't really know what to tell her. One and half weeks, that is a long time."

"Maybe Ron and Ginny can shed some light, maybe they already know why. We always tell them everything." Hermione said reasonably.

"But that's not what the letter said, is it? It told us only we knew why."

"Either way, we can't figure it out now, and I'm not sure I even want to know why, I believe the letter and it _has_ to be good reason."

"If you're sure, see you Hermione." Harry said still feeling uncertain.

"Bye Harry."

They both apparated home.

Harry apparated right outside his home. He took a moment to look around to see if anything has changed. "It was just a few weeks Harry" he thought to himself as he entered his home. He found Ginny at the dining table writing a letter.

"Harry?" Ginny looked up as she heard him enter.

"Hi." Greeted Harry.

"Ron told me you were ill and you that you were coming home. I waited for you." Ginny said as she walked towards him.

"I was… I'm fine Ginny" He took her in his arms and held her. "I'm sorry I worried you."

"So? Whatever that has been going on for past week and a half, is it over?"

"Yes, I think it is."

They stood like that for a while just holding each other. Even though he couldn't remember what happened, the feeling of uncertainty left Harry. He felt that everything is safe again. Then for a split second Hermione came into his mind, like she always does, and she leaves just as quickly.

Ginny was seating outside of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor enjoying a sundae waiting for Ron to meet her. She kept running the events through her mind. It turns out it wasn't just Harry that was out of sorts, Hermione was too. Harry had started acting weird since Sunday a fortnight ago and according to Ron, Hermione started a few days after that.

"This bit weird, us meeting like this. I usually tell Hermione wherever I go. You _know_ I'm not a good liar Ginny." Ron took the seat across from her. He was spotting a childish looking green sunglass that belonged to Hugo, his son.

"For haven sakes Ron, take that thing off! You look ridiculous. And I never asked you to lie to Hermione, why didn't you just tell her that you wanted to meet me?

"You told me not to tell Hermione!" Ron said defensively as he removed the glasses.

"I told you not to tell her what this is about."

"I don't e_ven_ know what this is about."

"It's about them acting strangely and then not remembering why." Ginny

"Oh Ginny, let it go. Everything is as it should be."

"Your not even a little bit curious as to why they were acting the way they did?" Ginny asked incredulously.

"Of course I am but what is the point if both of them can't remember? Besides, Hermione is less stressed at work and she has stopped calling me other people's names. Harry is speaking to me again and the way I see it let sleeping dogs lie."

Ginny shaking her head, "What if it was something terrible that happened? What if one or both of them got hurt or are dying and they were too afraid to tell us?"

"They erased their own memory Ginny." Ron reminded her.

"What if it wasn't them who did it? What if it was someone else just made to look like them?"

"You're being paranoid."

"I'm worried Ron." Ginny said in barely a whisper. Ron finally realized what this was really about. Ron moved over and held his sister in his arms.

"It's alright Ginny, I'm sure they are both alright."

"You didn't see him, he was unapproachable. The more I tried, the more secluded he became like he didn't want me in anymore."

"In where Ginny?"

"In his life. He hurt me Ron, and I know Harry. He would never have done that. It must have been something important. Something that may have even hurt him. What if it happens again?"

She was right of course, Ron thought to himself. How Hermione acted was weird and to be honest it really bothered him when she accidently calls him Harry, the other names he didn't mind, but Harry? She hasn't done it again, ever since they she returned with no memory of the past week or so. What if it did happen again?

"Alright then." Ron said determinately "First things first, where were they on Sunday afternoon two weeks ago?"

And so it begins.


End file.
